Surviving Together

 I crawled on top of Bae and buried my face into his neck, my tears warming his skin. Grateful 28+ years of incredible loving and living - oh, the adventures that we’ve shared together. I thanked him for the life he’s worked to give us, holding the ups and downs. Every immature and bad decision, and the growth we’ve both experienced in the process. 

I’m grateful that he is alive. Grateful that it’s not worse than it is. Grateful that this does not have to end in death, and yet I wept into his neck. How could this be our life, our new rhythm? How could it not? 

The Mystery of the Ages has always included fellowship with suffering. Do you we survive? Do we thrive? Do we own illness as an identity? Do we revel in victim and pity? Or do we look life straight in the eye, see its pain and its beauty? 

Our choice is sacred. In fact, conscious awareness of what we are choosing is one of the deepest spiritual acts we can embrace. We co-create our lives with our choices. With each choice we make, we either walk toward love or away from it toward fear. The most profound choice we can make, even as we participate in the fellowship of suffering, is to say yes to Love.

My tears, while a lament for this place on our journey, were also a cleansing. The salty mixture a place of alchemy. The release came unbidden, something akin to letting go of a pent up burden. The what ifs, how comes, and fear of the unknown held captive in my psyche released from pores as I held onto his neck. His arms wrapped around me. As we deep inhaled and exhaled, the rise and fall of our bellies and chest like a dance, the peace between us became something otherworldly. 

I climbed off Bae and went to sleep.

Sit With It:

What are you grateful for?

Can you recognize growth in your journey? How do you honor the progress?

How have you learned to hold the tension of life situations? How do you hold space for suffering?

Are you cognizant of your choices? What emotional issues are attached to your choices?

What do you do as an intentional practice to release stress, tension, and anxiety from your cellular memory?