Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Abiding In The Vine


Quick science lesson: in physical change, the physical state of matter changes – i.e., goes from ice to water from water to steam but it’s all still water – the chemical composition does not change, just the state of the matter. In a chemical change, not only does the state change but the chemical makeup changes as well.

In Numbers 21:8-9, the bronze serpent is a type of Jesus on the cross.  In John 3:14-15, people who are “bitten” with sin can look upon Him(Jesus) and live (have everlasting life). Our friend, Duncan Smith who pastors Catch The Fire Raleigh (Raleigh, NC) tells of a time when He was soaking in the Lord’s presence and Father said to him, "Ask me what bronze is made of?" So he asked Him and Papa said, "Bronze is a metal made of tin and copper."

Upon further research, Duncan found that tin radiates white light and copper absorbs light. Tin is a rare and precious metal. Copper is found in abundance. Can you see how these 2 metals prophetically symbolize Jesus and man?

However, when tin and copper are melded together in fire, they fuse and become one. And once melded they become known as a bronze. Bronze can never be anything else no matter what is done to it. This is what happens when Jesus died on the cross. We died with Christ on the cross, we died with Him and while He was roasting on the cross in anguish and agony, we were being fused with Him and becoming one with Him. And like bronze, Rom 8:35-39 declares that nothing shall separate us from the Love of Christ. Jesus became one with you in this life and death so that you could become one with Him in eternity.

In a chemical change, the essential nature of the object is transformed. It can never go back to what it was before. I was a sinner, now, I am a saint. I don’t ever go back to being a sinner again. Our human nature is totally transformed. Important to note that we never lose our personhood. We all have a unique individual expression. That is why we are a body, not everyone is a hand or a mouth, or a lip or a nose.

As we abide in Him, the fire of His love touches all of our unhealed places and transforms us into vessels of honor who are then able to carry the fire of His love to others (Is. 6:1-8)

James 1:21 says, "in humility, as we abide in the vine, we receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls." Our whole being needs to be saved: body, mind, emotions, and spirit.

As we read John 15:1-11, we see that we are to attach ourselves to the word of God. As we abide in the vine our joy is made complete.

We hide the word of God in our hearts (Ps. 119:11) We abide in the vine by meditating on and rehearsing the word of God in your heart, which is to contemplate or to reflect upon the Word and the personhood of Jesus.

Remembering that the letter alone kills, but the Spirit gives life. We need a vibrant relationship with Holy Spirit. He is our come alongside friend. He reveals truth to us and gives us a revelation of the Word as Father perceives it not as we perceive it from our life’s experiences.

Have you ever visited your local optometrist for a checkup? He brings the lenses in front of your face and he says, "Which is better, A or B?"  You can see from A but when he puts the lenses in front of you for B, it becomes crystal clear!  Doing life with Holy Spirit is like that.  With A, you're seeing and doing life through colored lenses and it's ok but when Holy Spirit comes and places lens B in front of you, you know go from glory to glory and you see a dimension of truth you maybe have never seen before.  It all becomes crystal clear!

As Holy Spirit brings the Word alive to us we go from truth to greater measures of truth. For example, we go from being a heathen in need of salvation to being a servant – I just want to serve the Lord, from servant to friend, from friend to son, from son to Bride. God is multifaceted. As we abide in Him we are allowed to experience greater measures of Him. According to John 1:33 the Spirit descended and remained on Jesus. Jesus experienced the fullness of Holy Spirit without measure. As we abide in the vine, we too are allowed to experience the fullness of Holy Spirit without measure (John 14:16-17).

"By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit( 1 John 4:13).

Abiding in the vine is living in a perpetual state of being connected to the Godhead. It is developing a relationship with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. How do I develop relationships? 1) Trust 2) communication 3) common interest 4) honesty 5) time together.

Abiding in the vine means that our life is hid in Christ – we are constantly at rest in Him. We’re not moving ahead of Him or lagging behind. I am yoked with Christ.

"Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God; the one who abides in the teaching, he has both the Father and the Son" (2 John 1:9).

Abiding in the vine means that I live a sinless life. 1 John 3:6, 9 says, "Whoever abides in Him sins not."

Abiding in the vine is the place where my will and the Father’s will become one. I have no will but that of God(John 5:30).

As we abide in the vine, He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul… (Ps 23) – Here God comes alongside of us and walks with us, sharing His Word and His heart with us.

Abiding in the Vine is finding value in who you are; sonship is a birthright given to me by Papa. That’s my value. I am a son of God. I can rest in His love. I can trust Him. In abiding, I discover my destiny. When I come into kingdom alignment then I can receive my kingdom assignment. I cannot bear fruit without intimacy. In order to know what God wants me to do, I must first know who God has called me to be. My identity is revealed as I abide in Him.

Abiding in the vine allows the presence of God to become natural to us. I choose to focus my attention on God. I choose to be with Him. My repeated choice to abide becomes a habit and a habit sustained becomes a lifestyle.

What does the vine provide? Food, nourishment, strength and stability, identity, a life source, support

The vine nourishes and waters the branches – Christ becomes our root source. He is the well that waters and refreshes us.  He is our river of life, our constant state of flowing water that allows us to be filled to overflowing.

Who is doing all of the work then? Easy.  The vine is.   We exchange our work, our striving for REST and we trust Him and relax. He is holding us up, undergirding us and supporting us. We lean into His strength and His goodness knowing that in my weakness, HE is strong.

What is our job then?  It is simply, TO BE.  Supernatural is not what you do; it’s who you are. When Moses asked God whom should I say sent me. His reply was tell them I AM sent you. Who is I AM? Everything you need in the moment you need it. What is grace? Everything you need in the moment you need it. The precise manifestation of favor whereby the VINE enables you to do that which needs to be done through HIS STRENGTH and POWER and not your own.


Worship – Worship involves our entire being: heart, mind, will, and emotions. It’s a total abandonment of our will.  How do you stay afloat at sea?  Every muscle is completely relaxed, face arched back looking heavenward – water encompassing all but a little of you – still enough of your personhood that you are still uniquely you and yet you are completely immersed in water. That is the perfect picture of your life as worship to God.

Physical calm - I am at one, I am centered, I am my whole self no matter the situation. God is my support. He is my strength, my stability. QUIET MYSELF DOWN.

Focused attention – I am continually turning my heart and my thoughts toward the VINE. He captivates me. He is the object, the person upon which I fix my gaze. He is my life source, my identity. I know who I am because of who HE is in me. He has deposited His seed within me, and I produce His fruit. I become so focused on Him that everything else fades into the background. FIX MY EYES ON JESUS.

Letting be – I am no longer striving to become something. I am simply being that which I already am. I no longer have to work at being a good Christian. I am because His righteousness has made me good. I am free from performance. I don’t have to earn my way into the heart of the vine. He chose me and gave His life for me.

Rest is not a position of inactivity.  Rest is a position of secure faith out of which activity flows.

(Heb 4:9) There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. Remains in the scripture means to abide; not to depart; to continue to be present.

Abiding in the vine is entering into God’s rest. It is bringing your life into agreement with God.

Receptivity – I am aware of His presence. I am stuck on God. I am God reliant and not self reliant. Everything that I am comes from God. I am completely dependent upon Holy Spirit for day to day living.

Spontaneous flow – freedom to be who you are. Walking in tandem with Holy Spirit. Inner promptings.

"As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father" (1 John 2:24).

Abiding in the vine is not just about you deepening your relationship with Jesus. The Father Himself loves you and desires to know you and be known by you. Jesus wanted you to know His Dad and for the joy of being able to introduce His dad to many more sons, He endured the cross. Abiding in the vine allows the Love of Father to be shed abroad in your heart. Increased levels of love equals increased levels of freedom. The closer you get to God, the freer you get. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.

Abide in Him and allow His seed to be reproduced in you.
©2010 Felicia Murrell YzCounsel Ministries 

Friday, September 17, 2010

Papa's Bidding

You Bid Me Write; You Bid Me Come; You Bid Me Dream with Thee

What are the thoughts of Christ today? What’s on the mind of royalty?

“O My Fair One, How I Do Love Thee

No Matter of Counting Can Measure the Ways

Come Love on Me. Come Be With Me

Rest ‘til your heart’s content

My thoughts for you will amaze you, woo you

Drawing Merry and Wonderment

How Do I Love Thee

O, How My Hearts Bursts For you

I Love To be in the room

O, How I Dance For you. How I delight in you

Your radiance is like full moon”

You Bid Me Write; You Bid Me Come; You Bid Me Dream with Thee

What are the Thoughts of Christ today? What’s on the mind of royalty?

“To Display my love to you, sing my song to you

Feel your hand in mine as we sway in time

Our hearts in sync to one tune

Heaven On Earth I sing. Glory and Love I bring.

Justice released. My presence increased.

Goodness and Peace to all men

I poured out my life for you; came down to die for you.

Because I want you to live

My Heart is full for you. Nothing But Good for you

Freedom and Joy I give”

©2010 Felicia Murrell YzCounsel Ministries

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Flying at 50,000 feet, I asked the Lord, "Father, what are you doing? What does this mean? How do we partner with you?"

This is what I heard (May 7, 2010): The prayers of creation were ushering in a revelation of His sons.  I kept hearing, "Ground swell.  Ground swell.  Even as the land was quickly flooded and gusts of wind blew on the area, so I am flooding Middle Tennessee with my Presence in even greater dimensions than you've known before.  Even as unnatural things happened in the environment, supernatural things are beginning to manifest in Middle TN.  The air is becoming thin. The air is becoming thin.  There is an increase in the angelic and the presence of supernatural beings.  Even as many rally to aid victims in need, so shall my sons and daughters rally together to pour out my love on the needy, the broken, the hungry, the castaway.  Intercessors, put your boots on the ground.  Blow the trumpet in Music City.  Sound the alarm, the sons are rising. The sons are rising.  There is a suddenly that is getting ready to happen and the outcome is greater than we have dared to imagine.  Shift is happening.  Eyes have not seen, nor ears heard.   Release the sound over the dam."
©2010 Felicia Murrell YzCounsel Ministries 

Coming Out Of The Closet

One day as I was communing with Him, I fell into a deep sleep with my face upon my pillow. 

As I slept, He touched me and I saw myself hid in the furtherest recesses of my closet, cowering in the darkness; kneeling in the corner; arm above my head to protect myself from the world and all therein.

The closet door gently creaked open and I made not a sound, willing myself invisible, afraid for what was next.

Immediately a fragrance overtook me, so sweet was the smell, I lowered my hand and lifted my head to draw in more of the sweet smelling savor.

Much to my dismay, I realized, I had been found out! My secret place uncovered! Exposed to the One.

But wait, what is that look in His eyes? They look like doves eyes. So peaceful, so safe. "I wanna go with You", I thought, "am I safe with you?"

As if He could read my thoughts, He smiled, extended His hand and bid me, "Come. Come up here. I went to prepare a place for you so that you could be with me where I am. My Dad has many rooms in His house. If that wasn't the truth, I wouldn't say it to you. I promised I wouldn't leave you as an orphan. I came for you. I promised I wouldn't leave you comfortless. Have you met Helper, My friend? Your friend? He will guide you into all truth. Why has your soul been so downcast? Put your hope in Me alone. Here, let me take this (False Security - my black cape). And here let me take this (Extra - my false comfort). And here, can I have that? (Wall - my defense mechanism I've used all of my life to survive). And if you'd like, you can hand me those lies, those fears, and that ball of unforgiveness. No pressure, only if you'd like. Come, come walk with me through the valley of the shadow of death. It's ok. Nothing to fear now, I am with you. My rod and my staff, they will provide comfort for you. And you can have as much of me as you want for surely goodness and mercy are with you.  And beloved, I have good and perfect gifts for you, compliments of My Father and Your Father. You see, you never sweep a house clean and leave it empty. So for everything you've given me on our journey together, I want to restore to you gifts that were rightfully yours from the beginning: my signet ring, this is your all access pass to the Kingdom. All of heaven is open to you. There is nothing on hold from you. With my ring, you shall decree a thing and it shall be established for you and light will shine on your ways. I also bestow upon you, the robe of righteousness - you are forever secure in my love. Every decision made from my love, every thought, every action, every word, every deed done from my love will be correct. To live from my love is to have My mind.  My scepter is always extended to you. The veil is torn in two. You can forever come and be with me where I am. You never have to leave my presence. In me is fullness of joy and at my right hand, I always have pleasures. I have also for you a jeweled crown. I am your defender. My love is your greatest weapon. No longer are you to merely survive, I hereby crown you to thrive."

Though I was weak and faint, with every step, He lent me His strength. With every word spoken from His lips, I stood more erect.  We walked and we walked, sometimes just walking and saying no words.
As I continued to sleep, I looked again and realized no longer was a little scared abandoned orphan girl walking with Him.  That person was no more. The pauper was made alive to God in Christ Jesus!
Awakened to her identity, now a radiant princess adorned in her royalty.
Who is that dancing upon the mountain? You are a radiant song, a breath of fresh air, still magnolias hung on its branches. Who is that partnering with heaven to transform the world? You are my fair one, my beloved, my bride. Who is that? Who are you?
I am the called out one. You have called me out of darkness, out of the recesses of my closet corner into your marvelous light. Good bye false security, good bye wall, good bye lies. Good bye false comfort. Hello Father and all you offer.
©2010 Felicia Murrell

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

God's Fatherlike Qualities

As I was reading about the Father Heart of God and the depths of His love for us, I was so overwhelmed with these thoughts.  I found myself studying seven areas of God’s Fatherlike qualities that have oft times been misrepresented to us – either through childhood situations or life experiences and hurts. Because we tend to see God through the lens of our own perceptions, we may have a reality about Father (Abba, Papa) that isn’t His reality.

The areas are: 1. Authority 2.Trust 3.Values 4.Affection 5. Presence 6. Acceptance 7. Communication

Let’s reflect for a moment and in the process, I pray, draw closer to the heart of Papa God.

1. What breeds distrust in you in the area of authority? Was there some male figure, who wrongly misrepresented himself to you through physical, verbal, or mental abuse? Sometimes, we shrink away from God’s authority because we assume He will be like other authority figures in our lives. Let me assure, He will not. Papa God is perfect love. You don’t have to run from Him. Even when you are wrong, even we you have sinned, even when you doubt or feel discouraged, run to Him. Run to Him, Beloved and hurl yourself upon His lap. Rest in Him.

2. Maybe as a child you lost a parent or were “orphaned” because other things took precedence over you in your parent’s life. Perhaps there’s been someone you trusted to be there “forever” that chose not to honor and keep a forever covenant. Now as God’s child, you find it difficult to trust in His faithfulness. Perhaps shattered childhood promises, neglect, or a broken heart causes you to approach Him with cynicism and distrust. Know, beloved that God is there. He has always been there, through every hurt, through every disappointment – even now, at this very moment, He is there. He is waiting with outstretched arms. 2 Timothy 2:13(TLB) records,” Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, He remains faithful to us…and He will always carry out His promises to us.” Go on, beloved. If your family member or spouse or friend or pastor failed in their responsibility to you, recognize it, forgive them, and go on to receive God’s love.

3. God’s values are significantly different from ours. While we tend to be caught up in the pursuit of things, the greatest demonstration of what God values is you. His Father heart for you is revealed in His concern for every single detail of your life. God is in the dailies. He loves to bless you, He longs to love you. Papa is not stingy, possessive, or materialistic. He values you.

4. You, dear one, are the apple of God’s eye. Even covered with mud, sin, shame, guilt, He doesn’t turn you away. No, as a mom would wash the feet of child whose being playing outside in the mud before coming in, Papa simply takes the garden hose filled with His son’s blood and washes you clean and draws you into a loving embrace. He pursues you with His forgiveness and His love. Stop running from Him, run to Him.

5. God has the ability to be with you all the time. It is true that He never leaves or forsakes you. He is always there, Jehovah Shammah. Do you understand why the reality of this truth is so important? Imagine if you will, a time in your own life, when you waited all day by the window for your mom or dad. Imagine that you had planned a romantic evening for a special someone in your life only to have him come home grumpy, not wanting to engage. Imagine that your mom and dad came home, time after time, too tired to revel in the finger-painted picture, too tired to hear about your day at school, give you a hug, make eye contact, the enemy begins to use these wounds to sow ungodly beliefs in your thoughts and your heart. “You’re not important. No one values you. No one wants to spend time with you.” You know, all of the lies we unwittingly entertain. Unfortunately, those lies unchecked create an expectation of alone-ness and isolation. We begin to be lonely and expect surface friendships, even in our relationship with God. Since our parents weren’t there, we reason, God couldn’t possibly be either. Beloved, God is our for REAL Father. He always will be. There is nothing fake or pretentious about Him. Try not to resent the failings of your human mom and dad. Try not to resent the failings of special someones' who did not meet your expectations. Rather, forgive and release them. And run to Dad, Jehovah Shammah, who is always there.

6. Let’s face it – we live in a performance based society. Much of the love we give and receive is based on conditions, whether spoken or unspoken. We, unconsciously, convey to our kids, “if you make the soccer team, if you bring home a good report card, if you clean your room, then you are loved, then you are accepted, then you will receive my praise. God, however, IS unconditional love. He loves us because He is love. We don’t need to do anything to convince Him to love us, while we were yet sinners, He loves us. All we have to do is receive His love. An even greater reality that Abba wants you to glean from His love, He approves of you. You are the apple of His eye. Imagine if Doug brought me flowers and said, “I love you, Felicia.” And then I in turn ran in the room and grabbed my wallet and tried to pay him for his expression of love. It would be like a slap in his face that I just couldn’t accept and receive his expression of love. Beloved, what is your response when God says He loves you? Do you just toss His bouquet of roses to the side with a shrug and a feeling of unworthiness? Do you fall on your knees with guilt promising to pray more, serve more, read your Bible more, do more, or whatever more frantic activity you think will be repayment enough for Abba’s love? Stop striving, dear one. As content as a sleeping babe curled in the arms of his mom after a feast of nourishment at her breast, so does the Lord desire you to be in Father’s love. Rest in His love. Stop your striving, dear one. Rest in His love. Enjoy the deep sense of peace that comes from knowing Dad loves you just as you are. “He is mighty to save, he will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).

7. If you have been hindered in your relationship to God because of lack in some area of parental love, because of disappointment, or what you believe to be unjust circumstances, tell the Lord how you feel and ask Him for help. You MUST choose to forgive anyone who has hurt you. No matter the offense, you are 100% responsible for forgiving. There is no peace in bitterness. And beloved, don’t allow those subtle lies of the enemy to fool you. You are not alone. You are not the only who’s been there. All flesh is grass. All have sinned. All have hurt or been hurt. What counts is that you communicate those hurts to the Lord and ask forgiveness for the hurts you’ve extended to others. Talk to Him and then listen, He’s waiting to talk back.

God is the Perfect Parent, receive His love.

©2008 Felicia Murrell

Friday, April 9, 2010


For my birthday last year, I gave myself the gift of time...I poured oil in our jacuzzi tub and lined it with bath salts.  With candles lining the tub, I loved myself.  Setting the ipod to the tunes of Alberto and Kimberly Rivera, I soaked in the presence of my Heavenly Daddy, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

At some point, as I lay my head against the bath pillow, the music stilled itself and I began to hear a conversation.  Quickly finding the towel to dry my hands, I began to journal what I was hearing.  For eight months I've treasured this and held the words in my heart.

Why share them today? Because I feel that Papa would have me pull back the veil and show others that you too can have an intimate relationship with the Lover of your soul.  You too can know the song that was sung over you before you were placed in your mother's womb.  I hope that mine, will invoke a longing within your heart to hear your own song of belonging and destiny.

May you come to intimately know the One who is the giver and sustainer of all life.

Felicia Murrell

August 23, 2009
I have loved you with an everlasting love.  The day I formed you, knitted you, fashioned you, my eyes were upon you - glued to you.  My precious one, I created you with strength.  I put ore in you and blew on the embers with the wind of my fire.  I fashioned you, knitted you, handcrafted you.  I poured faith in you.  I gave you leadership and strength; broad shoulders to carry the weight of my anointing.  I gifted you with song and poured a well of worship deep, deep, deep into you.  An effervescent pool of love bubbling up from within.  I gave you wisdom, insight, discerning of spirits.  "What else," I cried, "what else can I give to this one I love so dearly?  What can I give to this champion, this warrior woman of mine?"  Strength, Courage, Boldness, Understanding, Revelation, Grace, Grace, and more Grace.  Ah Yes!!  I shall give her My favor to go with her, to open doors, to prepare the way...and resiliency.  Yes, Spirit, she shall need resiliency and endurance for the long haul.  Wow, Father!  Look at her!  Look at what You've created.  Isn't she beautiful?  You should call her joy, happy.  Yes, Son, I shall put it in the heart of her family to call her Felicia.  For a season, she shall walk and her identity will be veiled.  She will be called out of her name and will not know or recognize all that is within her but then a day shall come, surely even now the hour is upon her, where she shall arise and declare herself blessed of the Lord.  So much beauty in her name.  Yes, indeed Father, beautiful.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Orphan or Son

An orphan spirit is not a demonic spirit but rather a lifestyle one takes on because of a sense of fatherlessness. Orphans are insecure. Orphans keep to themselves. They are easily threatened. They don’t have an identity or their identity is based on what they do not who they are. Orphan thinking always leads us away from God. Orphans are always looking for the high place, the place of recognition, there is a constant pressure to work for and earn everything that they believe they deserve.

Here are a few things you may here an orphan say, : “I’ve got to fight for what is mine.” “If it is to be it’s up to me.” “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.” “I can’t depend on anyone.” “I don’t trust anyone.” “I’ve been hurt so many times; I will never let anyone close to me again.”

Orphans often feel inferior, are independent and self reliant. Orphans are selfish, self centered, self focused. Orphans are critical, judgmental, uncooperative. Orphans are impatient. Orphans show ingratitude, always focusing on what they think they deserve. Orphans always have a need to be right. They display disloyalty and will play people against each other to win people over to their side. Most orphans are full of pride and have a great fear of man, meaning that it matters to them what men think. They are consumed with pleasing people because of a need to be loved, a need to be accepted. Orphans are often disobedient, rebellious, and buck authority. Even though they want to be loved, want to be accepted, they almost always feel like they never will so they respond in anger, they don’t try, they do the opposite of what is asked or expected of them.

Christian Orphans do all the right things: obedient; works hard; follows all the rules. They are good at performing, religious striving. They read the bible more, pray more, fast more, serve more, do, do do but experience little to no joy; not walking in or experiencing the fullness of God.

The good news is that Jesus promised us in John 14:18, “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” The Father, Himself, declares in 2 Corinthians 6:18, “And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me," Says the Lord Almighty.”

Inside each of us is a little child that needs to be loved. When we humble ourselves and submit ourselves in childlike faith to be parented by Papa God, then He can come and minister His love to us. We understand that sons, who come to Papa in childlike faith, trust.

Sons are carefree – they don’t worry or reason things out. Sons just accept it at face value, they are sincere – there is no pretense, Sons are honest. Sons are innocent. Jesus was our perfect example of what God desires from all of us as sons, and that is to live a life of absolute trust and dependence on Papa God. We know that were created by love for love to be loved and to give love. God made us to live in the center of His love. We are most fulfilled when we find our home in God’s love.

Let Papa love you today.

Repeat this prayer aloud:
Abba, I long to be loved by you. I come to you as a little child. Have a relationship with me. Accept me. Treat me as your own. Adore me. Love on me. Teach me how to love you. Abba, I trust you. I know that you have my very best interest at heart. Lord, I open my heart to you. Touch all those areas of my life that cause me pain. Minister your love to me. God heal the hurts and the wounds. Heal all of the unloved places. Cause my ear to hear your voice and my heart to receive your love. Papa, teach me how to receive. I want to be a son(daughter). I want to be your son(daughter). I give you permission to invade my world with your love.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

For more teaching on the orphan spirit, Mark Stibbe’s book, From Orphans to Heirs and Jack Frost’s book ,From Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship are both great resources.

© 2010 Felicia Murrell

My Identity Declaration

Feel free to insert your name or a loved one's name in the blank spaces and declare the Word of the Lord over yourself and them.  This was written for a women's bible study that I taught entitled, "Come to Papa."  I can't remember now if Holy Spirit gave this to me or if I "borrowed" from several sources.

May you be blessed. I call your spirit man to attention as you declare the Word of the Lord over your life today.

Father, you said that you are the light of the world and whoever follows you will never walk in darkness.
Father, I declare that ____ follow you.
__________ will have the light of life and will never walk in darkness (John 8:12).
Lord, I declare that as _______________ knows you intimately, you will reveal yourself as ABBA to her.
Father, I declare that you and ______________ are one through the shed blood of your son, Jesus. Father, I declare that ___________ is not alone for you have not left her comfortless.
Holy Spirit minister healing to every wound. Holy Spirit minister joy for sorrow.
Holy Spirit, I declare over _______ acceptance by the Father and not rejection. Holy Spirit, minister peace for anxiety.
Holy Spirit, I declare over _____ liberty and freedom in Christ over guilt and shame.
Father, I declare love where there is anger, bitterness, frustration, hurt, or hate for love covers a multitude of sins.
Lord, I declare that even now, Your Comforter, the Holy Spirit is with _______ and she does what pleases you.
Lord, I declare that _____ is no longer a slave to sin. ______ is no longer ruled by her emotions. Father, intimately reveal the truth of who you are to ______. And as ______ knows the truth, set her free (John 8:32).
Lord, I declare that _____ is a daughter/son of the Most High and has been permanently set in your family (John 8:35). No longer is there a need to search for love, no longer is there a need to seek acceptance, and no longer is there a need to experience the sting of rejection, the bondage of guilt.
For ____, I declare that you have been set free by the Son of God and are truly free in deed. In God’s family, you are loved, so much that the Son died for you. In God’s family, you are accepted in the beloved.
_____, I declare that you are not forgotten, neither have you been forsaken.
_____, your very name is inscribed in the Lord’s palm.
_____ everyday a chamber of his heart beats just for you. Lord, I declare that your language is clear to _______ (John 8:43). No longer do you speak in parables. The voice of the Holy Spirit is clear.
I declare that _____ is able to hear what you say, that ____ recognizes your voice and a stranger’s voice they will not follow.

©2010 Felicia Murrell

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


From Shame to Fame
I live to make His name renown

No longer timid or caught in the web of false humility
My eyes hath opened
I now realize the lie in its severity
"It's not me, it's Jesus," I've meekly replied

"More of Him and less of me"
My Christian cliche to ward off pride

Through the lens of love
Truth is revealed
All the broken and shattered places are healed

True humility is my total dependence on You
All of me covered by all of Thee
No longer do I cower or seek
to hide my greatness
No longer do I run or shy away from radiance

I know who I am and what I carry
Overshadowed by Your Spirit just like Mary

I'm a beggar before You
And a King before Men
I've got to have more of Your Presence
For breakthrough I doth contend

I'm not satisfied with the status quo
I want to see greater works
An heir to Abraham's promise is who I am
Through me the nations of the world will be blessed

From Shame to Fame
I've been freed to make Your name renown
I know who owns the crown

The glory which Abba gave You
You've given to us
An encounter with You we owe to the world
To demontrate Your love is a must

From Shame to Fame
How glorious Your name
in all the Earth
For none can compare
to Your matchless worth!

To walk with You
To live for You
To make Your name renown
I've accepted that you've
enabled me, equipped me, empowered me
to do good works

No longer will I cower or shy away from
All you've called me to do
I've come into alignment
You've given me an assignment
That only I can carry through

I am your workmanship
An original masterpiece
I will bring you fame
Because that's who you've
created me to be

To be an influencer
An encourager
A lover
A peacemaker with all men
To bring Heaven's reality to Earth
No matter the circle I'm in

To believe that You are
And that Your power dwells in me
A life of co-laboring is my destiny

Creation is groaning for the unveiling of sons
It's time for us to take our rightful place

To encounter the love of God
To become an encounter
To lead others into your face

From shame to fame
I live to make Your name renown
You chose me
You've called me to succeed

The shining of my light
A mere reflection of Your glory

Everything I am is because of You
For the glory of my King
I live to see my grave emptied
Every ounce of my destiny spent
I'm not satisfied with the status quo
Enlarge my capacity for more

Fill me to the full, then fill me again
Let Your goodness overflow from my brim
The overflow is for my guests
Through me the nations of the world will be blessed

This is my destiny
This is who You've called me to be
From Shame to Fame
I live to make Your name renown
For I'm complete in You

Make me Thy fuel, O Flame of God

©2010 Felicia Murrell

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Heaven Is Our Model

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer {any} sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be {any} death; there will no longer be {any} mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.” (Rev. 1-7)

Heaven is our Model
The world is our assignment
Destined to overcome
We are lovers of God by choice
Releasers of Peace
Exercising our authority
We’ve aligned our hearts with heaven
For the Kingdom comes fully equipped
My service is an overflow of my worship
With absolute dependence on God
I can only give what I have
Therefore I’m responsible to pursue His lifestyle
I am an open heaven
A carrier of His presence
A doer of His will, living in right relationship with Him
I express dominion through love
To discover and display Papa’s heart to the world
My heart beats with one overwhelming passion:
The delight of Daddy God
The Son can do nothing of Himself
I’m a total surrendered heart
Drawing on the superior reality
I’m committed to do my part
If it exists in heaven it is to be loosed on earth
This is what I was born for, my divine purpose from birth
When heaven invades earth, darkness flees
The works of the evil one are destroyed
Love, light, and life flow where things were once void
When heaven invades earth, there are no impossibilities
No exceptions
The heart of God is good
This is His glory, His manifest presence
Seas are stilled, the lame are healed
And people are free to be
When heaven invades earth
Creation stops groaning, children quit moaning
And sons live in excellence with humility
If it’s not in heaven, it’s fair game for removal
Compromise is not even an option
When heaven invades earth, shalom is released
Completeness, soundness, welfare and peace
When heaven invades earth, sons are exercising
Delegated authority

©2010 Felicia Murrell

Monday, January 11, 2010


From my journal: Nov. 2008 – I wrote: More than anything in the world, I love being your little girl. I love knowing that you love me. I love feeling secure in you. I love knowing that I am wanted, that you value me. Thanks, Papa. You are my Heavenly Daddy and I adore you.

I love being my Heavenly Daddy’s little girl. I didn’t have much of a childhood growing up. And one of the most fascinating things for me as I am learning to BE Abba’s little girl is watching little ones as they experience life. So today, I’d like to share a few of my observations as -



(Think about your little one when they get a boo-boo – they begin to cry and immediately, they run to mommy or daddy. “Kiss it Mommy, Kiss it.”) Interesting that as we grow and life gives us boo boos( the sibling who lied on us, the friend who betrayed us, the husband who left us, the salesman who cheated us, the broken heart) we tend to run away from our Heavenly Daddy instead of to Him. God never desires that we grow pass the point of coming to Him. Even now it’s Abba’s desire to pour His love into your heart so that all of those pains, memories, hurt feelings, and carts of baggage that we have stuffed away inside begin to rise to the surface like sediment; that you will sit at his feet and allow the pain to be poured out onto Jesus – this is why He died (Is. 53:5 He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities). God's love pours in and dislodges all the hidden pain we have stuffed inside.  This is not to cause you more pain from remembering.  We bring our boos boos to Him as our Father because He desires us to come to Him and say, “Kiss it, Daddy, Kiss it.” And, He will. When you allow the Father’s love to come upon you, His love begins to heal all of those unhealed and broken places. Prov. 23:7 says,"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he". If you believe that your pain is too big for God then every time you get a boo boo, you will run from Him. When you begin to experience God’s love, you understand that with one kiss, He can make the pain go away. Prov. 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life.

Our adultness tells us to run away, to cover ourselves, to use fig leaves for bandages and hide. Little ones just believe that Mommy and Daddy can make it all better. They trust without question. That’s what God wants from you – to believe that He, your Heavenly Daddy can and will make it all better. He wants you to trust Him without question. Bring your boo boos to Him and let Him kiss them.


Have you ever seen a child in the park picking “flowers” for their Mommy? Oh the joy of being presented with pretty flowers for Mommy. I love life through the eyes of a little one, when even the weeds look like flowers.

What do your weeds look like? Are they beautiful and yellow? Are they strangling the life out of you? Can you look at your weeds (your circumstances) and marvel at them in the same light your little one does? God says to count it all joy when we go through various trials. Even though the storm was raging on the sea, Jesus slept while the disciples in their adultness looked at the weeds and feared greatly. Strength and courage flow from an awareness that God is with us. Challenges are an opportunity to see the bigness of God and to see the goodness of God to be demonstrated in our lives. Smile at your circumstances and declare God’s kingdom come and Father’s will to be done. The problem for some of us is that we still see God has an angry judge instead of a loving Father who cares about what we care about. But the very real truth is that God is concerned about what you are concerned about. How can I say this? When Jesus saw Mary and Martha’s grief, what did he do? Jesus wept. Why did He weep? Because He had seen His Father many times alongside His children who were grieved and weeping. How can you know that, you might ask? John 5:19 Jesus says, "the son can do nothing of himself. I only do what I see the Father doing; I only say what I hear Father saying". Too far a stretch? Try this one: "But God demonstrates His own love to us in that, while we were yet sinners Christ died for us" (Rom. 5:8). In the midst of our weeds, He has given us His peace – "My peace I give to you, My peace I leave with you, not as the world gives. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27) Why? Because out of your heart flows the issues of life. If your heart is troubled or full of fear, guess what your outlook on life is? God wants you to know that you can know His peace, you can walk in His peace, you can live in His peace even when the weeds threaten to overtake you. When you know the depth of His love for you, and the all surpassing greatness of His power, you can look at the weeds of your circumstances and smile. After all, they are just a beautiful bouquet of flowers.


Have you ever watched a child fall asleep? They have an amazing ability to simply lay their head on their pillow and fall fast asleep. They aren’t trying to figure out how things are going to work out for the next day, what they will wear or what they will eat. Without even thinking about it or thinking on it, they just fall asleep. Thinking about those things is the parent’s responsibility. God wants you to be like that.

Matthew 6:25-34 reads, "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, {as to} what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, {as to} what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and {yet} your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a {single} hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is {alive} today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, {will He} not much more {clothe} you? You of little faith!  Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. "

God wants you to know without a shadow of doubt or concern that provision is His job not yours. It is an ungodly belief to think that God helps those who help themselves. It is His great pleasure to provide for His children. The Psalmist declared no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly. His desire is that we cease from striving and worry long enough to know that He is God. He will clothe us, He will feed us. Yet sometimes the issues of our hearts - lack, fear of abandonment, mistrust - prevent us from really taking the Lord at His Word…we plan, we worry, we control, we manipulate. What God really wants is to heal those places in our heart, so we can take Him at His Word and truly begin to lay our head on our pillows at night without thinking about what’s next. When did God provide manna for the children of Israel? At night, while the children were resting (see Numbers 11:9). As we rest in the Lord, He provides.

There is a beautiful picture that comes to my mind as I reflect on this; it’s the picture of me nursing my kids. As my kids would nurse, they would most often fall asleep and as they fell asleep, they would pull away from the breast with their little mouths wide open – a little milk still at the corner of their mouth and they would just rest secure and safe in my arms – sleeping and resting without a care in the world.

Ps 22:9 Yet You are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust {when} upon my mother's breasts.

There is a picture in that verse that is so key in our relationship with our Heavenly Daddy. One of the names of God is El Shaddai which means, the mighty breasted One. God wants us to come to Him and receive nourishment and the rich nutrients that come from nursing at His breast. He wants us to curl up in the cradle of His arms and drink of Him. He wants to fill us to the full so like a little babe; we can lay our head back in the crook of His arm and rest, safely, securely, without a care in the world.

It’s total reliance on the Father. That’s how Jesus lived. That’s how babies live. That’s how I want to live and relate to my Heavenly Dad.

Even today as I share with you these lessons from the life of a little one, I am reminded of my own four children and how differently each one of them responds to the love that Doug and I give them. Our love is the same. We have always loved them. We have loved them from the beginning. They are the expression of the love that Doug and I share. They represent the oneness of our heartbeat and yet each responds very differently to our love: Brittany, our oldest, is very secure in our love. She’s confident. She’s funny. She’s knows who she is. She still has her issues, but she’s just Britt. She can go and be who she is because she is sure of our love. When she needs our help or advice she comes back for that but she knows that she is loved.

Our oldest son, Tre’, is the intimate, cuddly one. He is pretty much, when he’s in our presence, in our lap, hugging on us, holding our hand, bending his cheek down for a kiss. He’s 16 and he’s going through puberty, so there are plenty of times that he can be a rascal. He’s learning how to manage his freedom and what to do with the fruit of the Spirit called self control. That’s a process. He’s having a paradigm shift about his parents and as a result, his views of God as Father are changing as well.  So even though he loves intimacy, at times he is unsure about what to do with not having a punisher or an enforcer. By nature, his temperament his more black and white, so he is at home with rules. Because we don’t have a lot of hard fast rules, sometimes in the process of learning how to manage his freedom and himself, he messes up. Even though he makes wrong choices, it doesn’t change our love or how we give and show love to him. Is that hard? Very! We’re not Papa God.

Our youngest daughter, Chaya is a socially, bubbly extrovert. Her name means life and she’s very full of it. As such, she demands love. She demands attention. "Hey look at me, I’m here. Hello world, listen to me."  She reminds me of the friend in Luke 11 who kept knocking and knocking until the man got out of bed and answered. Chaya is like that, she is persistent in her demand for your attention.

Our youngest, Jeremiah is timid and unsure. He’s a natural leader, a talented actor, singer, brilliant mind yet he questions himself. Sometimes he’s not sure if it’s ok to come get a hug or a kiss. You can tell that he wants it but he’s not sure. You often find him on the outside. Once in a store, I knew he wanted something and I had purposed in my heart that I would buy it for him if he asked. You could see him look at it, he’d kind of look at me, he’d put his hands in his mouth, look back at it but he never asked. As much as I wanted to give that to him and buy it for him, because he didn’t ask, I wouldn’t give it to him.

(Sidenote: I originally wrote this almost a year ago, and I am happy to report that as Father's love has been poured into J's heart, now he will greet us with open arms and a sly smile, still a little unsure, but at least he'll come get love!).

One day as I was praying for the church and crying out to God about why people didn’t get it, why do people not have a revelation of how much You love them. God showed me my own kids and said that many of His kids are just like this:

Some, like Britt,  are confident.  They know God loves them. Because they have experienced His love and received an impartation of His love they can go and do the same works He did and even greater works. They know how to come sit at the Father’s feet and commune with Him. As such there is a confidence about them, a sense of authority.

Some are like Tre’, intimate – love to touch the heart of God, love to hold His hands and walk with Him in the cool of the day, love to curl up in His lap and just be with Him. These are the mystics – can’t get enough of God people who would choose to hang out in their secret place all day. (I admit, with Papa God, I'm more like Tre'!).

Others like Tre’s alter ego are kind of like I want this; I want to experience more of God, more of His love but are clinging to traditions, legalism, rules, enforcers, and punishers. The freedom scares them somewhat. They have so been dominated by control – either controlling or being controlled that they don’t know how enjoy the freedom of their life in Christ. Rule over me, tell me what I can and cannot do – like the children of Moses they say, no Moses you go talk to Him. Just tell us what He says for us to do and we will do it.  I'd rather have rules than relationship.  I'd rather embrace the New Old Testament than walk in the freedom grace provides.

Some are like Chaya – hey look at me, I am here. Talk to me. Pay attention to me. Jesus, I’m here. Abba, your child over here. Don’t forget me. Don’t leave me out. This is rooted is performance – striving, fear of being left out. I have to do, do, do for Father to notice me. I have to perform for love. I won’t be outdone.

Some are like Jeremiah – God so wants to bless you, He so wants to give you good things, but you have not because you ask not. You are not really sure that God is in a good mood. You are not really sure that He loves you. You are not really sure that you can trust Him. You’re not really sure that it is ok to come up and give Him a hug or give Him a kiss.

But the Father is saying to you, all that I have is yours. It’s all yours. You were mine from the beginning. Even while you were yet sinners I loved you. I have always loved you. Even now I am pouring my love on you.

1. Trust without question 2. Count it all joy; your weeds really are just beautiful flowers. 3. Provision is God’s job, not yours. 4. Total reliance on the Father.

Bring me your boo boo, let me kiss them. Let me heal them. Look at your weeds, can’t you smell the roses? Just as I endured the cross for the joy set before me, fellowship with me in your suffering and count it all joy, knowing that I have your back. I am working it all out for good. Shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Sleep now, little one. I will feed you. I will clothe you. Ah, yes! I love the smell of milk on your breath. You can trust in Me. You can rest safely and securely in me. I love you. You can totally rely on, adhere to and be confident in my goodness.

My child, you are the love that flows between Me and My Son. Just as my kids are the expression of love that flows from Doug and I, you are the love that flows between Abba and Jesus. The Father wants a Bride for His one and only begotten Son. The Son wants to give to the Father many more sons. The Father says to the son, here’s your betrothed. The Son says to the Father, here are your sons. And you are that expression of love. In this upside down kingdom, only through the heart, the faith, and the eyes of a child can you see and grasp this wonderful, simple expression of love.

Except you become as little children, you will be no means enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matt. 18:3)

It’s time to become young again. Being childlike is how we mature in God’s kingdom.

Perhaps some of you have a boo boo that you need your Heavenly Dad to heal. Others of you may need the Lord to shift your perspective so you can begin to see your circumstances as the beautiful flowers they are. Perhaps you need the Lord’s peace or an impartation of His joy to do that. Others of you have been wrestling in your own strength to be provision, to make provision, to figure it all out. Today God wants you to trust Him, to come to a place of rest. Freedom from anxiety and worry, provision is His job, not yours. For others, you have been relying on yourself, your spouse, your parents, your friends, but not on God. God wants to give you a grace today to be able to fully rely on Him.

Keep that milk breath!

©2009 Felicia Murrell


Where the clouds kiss the sea and the line between the two blur, in that space of time, all that I know, all that I long for fades away.  Only one desire is clear, only one yearning rises to the heart longs for You.  In that secret place, in that quiet place, all that I am fades away.  All that is left is a longing to be set at one with You.  To anticipate, to experience, to draw from Your very breath.

Who are You that men would so yearn for You?  Who are You that men would die for You?  Who are You that You would cause one to fully abandon everything else and so completely say yes to You?


Lord of All, Maker of Heaven and Earth.  Creator.  Potter.  Repairer of the Breech.  Fixer of All things broken.  The Divine.  The Reality.  I AM.

Before time was I AM.  When time ends, I AM.

If You are, then who am I?  In what way am I most aquainted with You?  In what way do I know the least about You?  What area of my life do I desire to upgrade?  What area do I desire most for You to reveal Yourself to me?

Oh to gaze upon Your Face, to behold Your Beauty.  What I've longed for more than anything is True Friendship and a Dad who Loves me, who tells me He loves me and knows how to show love to me. 

Are You the One?  Are You the One I've longed for all of my life?  Can I run to You? Can I trust with all of me?  Can I trust You with my secrets, my fears, my dreams? Can I trust You with my future, my hopes, my desires?  Can I trust You to be there when I am lonely?  Can I really trust You? Oh, how I long to trust You.

How do I begin to fathom Your nature and all that You are?  "Look upon me and you will see.  What do you see?" 

I see that You are good. 
You are love. 
You are righteousness. 
You are BIG. 
You are PEACE. 
You are JOY. 
You are PATIENT. 
You are PERFECT. 
You are the FULNESS OF LIFE. 
One God - yet three distinct persons.

Yes, Daughter.  I AM.  Now, look into my eyes.  Who are you?  "Who am I?"  Yes, in Me, who are you?

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.
I am a kingdom carrier.
I am chosen by God to see His goodness in the land of the living.
I am the head and not the tail.
I am alive in Christ.
I am Christ's ambassador.
I am an alien to this world.
I am an overcomer.
I am a King's Kid.
I am a joint heir with Jesus Christ.
I am seated in heavenly places.
I am a royal priesthood.
I am a holy nation.
I am a city set apart on a hill.
I am Abba's love child.
I am a daughter of Abba, the Most High God.
I am God's chosen.
I am Abba's favorite one.
I am the apple of Abba's eye.
I am Abba's delight.
I am the first and not the last.
I am equipped for every good work.
I am the Bride of Christ.
I am Papa God's happy thought.
I am quieted with His love.
I am empowered by Holy Spirit.
I am called to subdue the earth and rule over it.

Indeed you are, my child.  Indeed you are.

©2009 Felicia Murrell

Ode To The One I Love

Cast away the heaviness
Light the embers in my soul
Draw me to Thy well
Where Thou Living Waters Make Me Whole
Light of the World
Cause the darkness to flee
Into the depths of my heart plunge
To cleanse e'er iniquity
Draw me to the feet of Jesus
Pour on Your Love and Oil
Settle e'er anxiety, fear, and worry
The tempest waves no longer roll
My heart is free to serve you
To live in the center of your will
Draw me nearer, Dear Lord
At your cross, my flesh doth kill
As the sun sets on a long day
So your blood set upon my heart
Covering with mercy every sin, deed, and thought
No longer an old man
I walk in the new
Filled with your Spirit
The Love on my heart thick as dew
Draw me Dear Saviour
To Your Feet do I run
Dad desires to celebrate
the return of His son
Home I come
Free from shame
Free from wordly yoke & bondages of sin
Into the chamber of your heart
Do I enter in
Hid in a place honed only for me
Saved by Grace
My judgement paid on a cross at Calvary
To live life less than one of victory
Cheapens the blood Christ shed for me
The heaviness is gone!
The fog is lifted!
To the bosom of my Father my life has drifted.

©2009 Felicia Murrell

What Fear Taught Me

For the past few months, my husband and I have been walking through a potentially fearful situation.  We decided not to share the trial with anyone and just trust the Lord that His goodness and mercy would prevail.  Though we are still walking through the situation, I've reached a breakthrough.

For many days and nights as I rehearsed what if scenarios in my head, fear gripped me.  I had racing thoughts, I was tormented with fitful sleeping, and could not experience the shalom of heaven which I normally walk in.

One of my life's verses is 1 John 4:18 - "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

In the last few months, fear has taught me a few life lessons that I never want to lose or have to learn again.

Fear prevents me from giving.
Fear prevents me from living. 
Fear prevents me from loving. 
Fear prevents me from doing. 
Fear handicaps me and boxes me in on all sides.

My Abba, my Heavenly Daddy is perfect love.  To the degree that I am filled with and consumed by His love, fear has no place in me because perfect love casts out or displaces fear.  Fear has taught me that the converse is also true.  To the degree that I am filled with and consumed by fear, God's love has no place in me.  Fear and Agape love cannot exist in the same place at the same time.  It's impossible.

One day, while my daughter was home on a college break, she greeted me as my car pulled in to the garage.  There was no sparkle in my eye, my face was tautly set, and all I could think about was, "Someone had better washed up those dishes."  Fear takes your joy away and quickly leads to offense.  She jokingly said," You're suppose to smile when you come home."  Another time, she came into the kitchen and she looked at me and said, "Why are you judging me with your eyes?"  To which I replied, "I am not." But the truth was, I absolutely was judging her outfit.  Fear produces a critical and judgmental spirit.  Fear was sucking life from me.

I love the way Holy Spirit can use the people in our lives to reach us.  A few days before she was to return to school, I realized that fear had robbed me of fun times with her while she was home.  Fear had displaced the love that exudes from me as an overflow of receiving Papa God's love.  Fear had turned me into a somber grinch.

A few days ago, as I was reading my Bible, Holy Spirit showed me something wonderful that I had never seen before.  As I read Genesis 3, I realized that though Adam and Eve had sight, they were also "blind".  In Genesis 3: 6, it says "When the woman saw..." so she was seeing but in verse 7 of that same chapter, it says, "Then the eyes of both of them were opened..."   Until they chose to heed the voice of Satan and partake of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they were never to "see" evil.  Their eyes were only open to that which was good, that which was lovely, that which was pure.  In fact, God later says in verse 22, "the man has become like one of Us knowing good and evil."  It was never Abba's intent for us to "see" the evil around us, to "know" (experience) evil.  It was never His intent to know that we were uncovered because He was our covering.  Love covers.  It wasn't until they ate of the fruit that Adam and Eve looked upon each other and "saw" that they were naked and were ashamed.  Fear produces shame.

Indeed it is true, Love covers.  And through the blood of Jesus Christ, we have been redeemed and restored to that place of fellowship and relationship with our Heavenly Daddy, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.  He has covered us in His blood and placed on us a robe of righteousness.  It's our right to be "blind" to the evil around us; to see only that which is good.  Sounds like Utopia? Perhaps.  But even Peter stayed on top of the water as long as his eyes remained fixed on Jesus - that which is good.  The minute he began to look around, he started to sink. 

Another life lesson I learned from fear, as long as I look around I sink into a pit of misery, depression, discouragement, and disbelief.  When I choose to lock my eyes into the gaze of my Heavenly Daddy and fix my eyes on the author and finisher of my faith, I can lean into His goodness, trust in His grace, rest in His love and keep walking forward.

We each have our own Garden of Eden in Christ, a secret place where we can run and be with Him.  A place where we are safe, a place where we are hid, "blind" if you will, tucked away from the snare of the evil one.  The Bible says, "The name of the Lord is a strong tower.  The righteous run into it and are safe."

When I enter that place of rest, the place of green pastures and still waters that He leads me to, the enemy can come near me, but He can't touch me.  David says it like this, "He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies."  When my eyes are fixed on the One who is my Protector, my Provider, my Strong Tower, all I see is Him and His goodness, His glory.  I am "blind" to the evil one, the only thing I see is the recompense of the wicked (Ps. 91: 8).  Though I am not ignorant of his schemes or his devices, I allow rest to be my weapon, faith to be my shield and the Word of God to be my sword.  I run into the arms of my Heavenly Daddy.  I allow His love to displace my fear.

Fear taught me that when I lend myself to it, I give it my power.  I give it authority in my life.  And when I give my power and authority to the one who has no power, he begins to use my reactions to fear to gain power over my life.  Pretty soon, I find myself depressed, despondent, discouraged, and echoing his own words, "Hath God said?"

Yes, God did say! God said He was for me. He said He was more than the whole world against me.  He said I would have trouble in this world, but He has overcome the world! He said He would never leave me or foresake me.  He said He has arrived to live among me.  He said His thoughts about me are greater than the grains of sand.  He said He has etched my name in the palm of His hand.  I am always before Him.  He said He would not leave me as an orphan and that He would come to me.

So, do I act out of fear? Or do I choose to stand on what He said? Fear taught me, that to choose fear is to allow the devil to set the agenda.  When I understand my identity, who I am and whose I am, Romans 8: 35-39 becomes alive in my heart. " Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulation or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?...But in all these things, we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Indeed it is true, Perfect Love casts out fear.  Fear has taught me that every person, even one who walks in the shalom of heaven, is capable of reacting in fear if you feed your heart on the wrong thing long enough.

Fear has taught me that if I give in to it, I will not be perfected in the love of God.  In the words of the wonderful Hillsong song,  "I will exalt thee.  I will not fear.  He shall go with me.  I will not fear."

Thank you Abba for loving me enough to draw me into my secret place so you could fill me with your perfect love and displace the fear that was consuming me.  Thank you Pastor Bill for having a word in season for BSSM that spoke right to the heart of this situation as we are walking through it.  Many of the thoughts I have echoed here come from the teachings of Holy Spirit and Bill Johnson.

©2010 Felicia Murrell